The Primary program was today. It's the highlight of the year, in my opinion. My little four-year-old has been soaking up all those primary songs and working on the actions in great anticipation for his first program.
So I was really, really trying not to be disappointed today. My oldest boy is a very rambunctious child. Therefore, I was not surprised when I was told that they had it "worked out" for him to sit next to his teacher during the program. I found out yesterday, however, that his teachers were home sick and wouldn't make it to the program. This left me a little anxious, because if Lil Jr were just assigned to some random adult that he didn't know, I wasn't sure how well he would take that. But I knew that he has conquered his fear of standing up in public and mastered his momma's boy tendencies--not to mention how well he knows his songs and his line--so I wasn't overly concerned.
Until he went up on the stand. As soon as they announced that the children could come up, Lil Jr ran right up and plunked himself down. When I realized where he was I thought, "Oh, here we go--he's already sitting in some random place on the floor." So I got up to take him over with his class. When I got closer, I realized that no, he was sitting in a chair at least--it was one of the primary chairs, so it was just really low to the ground. But still, why was he way over in the corner, almost in the curtains, off by himself? Surely that was wrong. So I tried to get him to move across the stand over by the rest of his class (on the complete opposite side) and then saw it: his name. Taped to the chair. The only chair with a name on it.
Confused, I left him there and sat back down in the audience. I was a little relieved when I saw who was sitting next to him--one of the most child-friendly men in our ward--but saddened again as the program progressed and he was so little and far away and blocked by the stairs so that even we (who were only a couple of rows back on that side) couldn't see him, but more importantly, he couldn't see US. Where's the motivation for him to do well?
Ok, so I get he's a little wild. I know they needed some plan to contain him. I get that. But I couldn't help feeling disappointed and sad that my little boy's big shining first moment in the Primary took place in the shadowy confines of the curtains behind the stairs.
The Primary Presidency is both very young and very new with either no kids or only babies and I know they have a few kinks to work out about how they do these things. And I still really like them and everyone does things differently and I'm not going to lose my testimony over this. AND, I really feel like I want to call the President, and tell her that it hurt my feelings and that maybe if they were to have an event like this in the future, they should be wary of mothers who may not be able to handle it as well. (And I'm not really handling it well, if you were to ask my husband, who had to listen to me cry about it already--but I know I'll get over it.)
I mean, aren't Sunbeams supposed to be a little unruly? Isn't that half the fun of the Primary program--seeing what zany things the kids do as they sing about reverence and Jesus? I thought so. Lil Jr's best friend was on the other side of the stage--and he, too, was acting up and going back and forth between the stage and his parent's pew. I think he would have done better with his little buddy to bolster him on. I thought, maybe if they would have asked me what I thought would be good for Lil Jr, I could have told them--make sure he can see me and that he has his friends to sing along with. But maybe I wouldn't have said those things at all because I would have thought they were a given. I don't know. I really want to just call the Pres and give her some constructive feedback, but my husband says it's a bad idea because I'm too emotional about it. But I am going to a ward event where she will be in 2 days and I don't think I can just ignore how I felt. Again, I want it to be like feedback--in an effort to save another mother from feeling like their kid was cast into Outer Darkness for being 4--but my husband says it can't go anywhere good and just to leave it alone. Wah. What do I do?
2 comments:
nice little note on the doorstep? written and then edited and proofread by hubby and then edited again to make sure point was made without offending?
such a tough one. i feel ya.
Delurking to comment.
As the mother of a VERY busy 3 year old, I'd call the president. Kindly tell her how much it hurt your feelings and in the future maybe she won't do it again. Clearly, she needs to learn.
Good luck!
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